The "Do it All"

We all know them –

The people who claim: “I’ve got it under control”, “no I never need any help”, the “I have so much going on all the time”.

When you do it all you don’t teach

Being a teacher is an important piece of leadership. It is the secret sauce that allows a leader to do more than what is asked of them. It is what provokes the best out of the people who are all working towards the same goal.

It creates a wave of opportunity for other likeminded and ambitious souls within a team.

So if you’re a doer, how will you teach?

As leaders it’s our job to provoke excitement, create motivation and build inspiration. We are the difference between others becoming teachers, or becoming doers. It’s the expectations we set, it’s the message we preach, and it’s the reaction to “doing” vs. “teaching”.

Yes, the time investment to becoming a teacher is significant. And in leadership sometimes that time investment is “not worth it”. But when those you have invested time in become the next leader and their teams become high performing entities, and now all of a sudden, YOU have time on your hands to not just teach but to learn.. then it’s worth it.

Then all the years of NOT “doing” and all the time spent teaching makes your leadership worthwhile.

You can only hope one day one of those people you’ve taught are knocking on your door for a key to your office. That’s the dream. Because at that point, you have groomed someone to be the best they can be.

It’s leadership with confidence and total insecurity that will give their team permission to knock on the office door and ask for a key. 

I look forward to the day when I give my office away. To me that is the most impactful part of the job. It’s part of my purpose. Motivating and coaching others to be the best they can possibly be.

And in order for them to become that way, it is my DUTY as a leader to hand them opportunities. Teach them how to reach for the stars. And push them, to teach their people, because they will never make it unless they pass the torch along to those underneath them.

So don’t be a “doer”. Don’t force yourself to “do it all”. Teach others those tough, lengthy, strategic, brain hurt tasks.

After all, once upon a time, someone took the time to teach you.

A Purpose Driven Life

A purpose driven life they say

Easier said than done on some days

So many energy drainers, complainers, fakers

So much negativity, problems, concerns

Even the brightest of lights in the darkest of rooms

Needs another one to shine it out of the shadows

When you are deep beneath the surface

Pulled down from the clouds

Away from where the air is crisp and clean

Into a world full of mediocrity

Where good enough is the best that’s done

Where the voice of truth and reason lacks

Is this the place I want to rest my head?

Exasperated, the answer is clear

Looking out of an unconventional lens

Sometimes leads to discoveries

Differences in opinion

A change in circumstance

Yearning for another light to shine alongside

Needing the crisp clean air above the clouds

The desire to float above the dampness of this soil

Away from the dirt between bare feet

From the rocks and stones that thrash against skin

To a place of colour, of love, of trust

Open the windows and let that air in

The gusts that freeze against bare skin

Let the wind take me to a place I have never been

Away from this water, this puddle, this grave

To a journey, an adventure

Of discovery

Of truth

Of honesty

Pull all that’s left of me out of my soul

And let it guide my future

My life, my path

A purpose driven life I say.

Book Worm

I've been reading a lot. That's my escape in my mind - it's getting into other peoples' minds and being engaged and inspired with their thoughts.
My books of choice the last few weeks have been female comedian writers and role models who have broken through that so called glass ceiling and created a way of self expression. I have learned some interesting things from their writings - from my friends Tina, Amy and Mindy.

• It doesn't matter what you need to say, it's important to just say it. 

I always thought my writing needed to mean something to someone and have some kind of life changing anecdote encrypted. But the reality is when I am unable to withdraw that kind of philosophical genius, I still need an outlet to be creative and be verbose. That's why it's important to write, whether that be a chapter on "what I learned when I was a little too fat.." or a chapter on "humping Justin Timberlake". It doesn't ALWAYS matter (sometimes it does..)

• Don't take yourself too seriously.

We are all real people with real emotion and real frustration. What I loved most on the way Amy (Poehler of course) writes is you can hear the emotion in her tone. When she went through a great deal of sadness in her life, she expressed it so well through her choice of language. When she gushes about her beautiful boys, talks about Archie's too big head, you can feel the love in the way she articulates description. She doesn't take herself too seriously, she just wants to tell the world how she feels. 

• Sometimes you don't have all the answers - that's ok.

I mean isn't it important we all experience our own selves the way we are meant to? Why are we all looking for the answer to life, when in reality the answer to life is different to each and every one of us. All I know is I want to love, and live, and grow a business and travel the world - that's about all the answers I have. I don't want to pretend to have them all.

• Be proud of being a strong, powerful, empowered woman - and raise more

We can do it all. We can be whatever we want to be. The limitations on us in this blessed country we live in are placed by ourselves. Break through the limitations and fly, sing, soar - all of those empowering adjectives. I am proud of being a woman who is looked up to. Who may not always be liked but is most definitely respected. I have the power of choice, the ability to lead, the freedom required to live. And I will not take that for granted. I will pay it forward to the generations to come, and I will know that those before me weren't as lucky. They paved the way, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Happy Sunday, Happy Easter.

Enemy of Fear is Creativity

I just had an ahaaaaa moment.
The last few weeks have been tough.
I haven't really been myself. I have less of a pep and the inner critic inside me has been fighting its way to the surface.
I have been so confused on why I feel this way.
It's a level of insecurity mixed in with an unwillingness to do the things I love.
I have drowned myself in things that are meaningless - binge tv anyone?
I haven't read, I haven't written, I haven't meditated, I haven't exercised.
Needless to say, I haven't felt fulfilled.

I blamed it all, blamed everyone else.

Though, the reality of life is there is no one to blame.
One makes decisions for their own life, for their own existence and for their own happiness.
And living in this insecurity in my brain was a decision that I CHOSE to make.

So today I listened to a podcast featuring Seth Godin and his words echoed through my brain.

The podcast specifically surrounded his new book around personal responsibility.
"Reassurance is Futile" he claimed.
Now that is quite the statement. Reassurance is what calms that inner critic, isn't it?
"When is it enough reassurance?" Seth questions.
After all, it is never enough. When you get used to a certain level of constant encouragement and pats on the back, that becomes the new normal. Then you want more. When is it enough?

The key is to overcome fear. Overcome insecurities. Be your own re-assurance.

But I wasn't afraid, was I?

"The enemy of fear is creativity.

When you find yourself getting stuck it’ll sound like 'Not Feeling Like It'

'Not feeling like it' doesn’t mean you are losing your thirst.  

This is ways you express your fear.

Fears are hiding out. We are resisting.

Creating a habit and then fear will go away.

Call it out, label it, do something creative."

Turns out the emotion I was masking was fear.
Fear of the unknown, fear of what is to come, fear of dealing with the new realities of my professional life.

The thing about fear is you can't ignore it. It exists, it persists, and it wants you to know it has arrived.
Key is to accept that it may rear it's head and create habits that meet it face to face. Then slowly these habits transform your ideology of what one finds fearful.

So I decided to write. To call out this fear, and to slowly incorporate creativity to transform it.

Follow Your Bliss

It's confusion.
I've spent some time trying to pin point what this is.
Now that the stress has declined, the deadlines are pushed back, our mode is in "wait and see", the truth in the feelings suddenly arise.
And what is this I feel? I've wondered that for the past week. During my sleep ins and exhaustion that has finally set after two weeks of non stop chaos.
What is this pit in my stomach, this cloud in my head, this thing that won't let me sleep through the night.
It's confusion.

When you trust where you are, when you trust those around you, and when you believe people have your back - I mean TRULY have your back, then a person is in a sense of peacefulness.
You know that no matter what happens the people around you have your best interest at heart.
They acknowledge, appreciate and are aware of your dedication. They understand your motivation. They know you inside and out and will be there to pull you out of the fire if that's what you need.
See that's where we are comfortable. And I don't believe that comfort leads to mediocrity. I believe that comfort leads to the confidence to take risks. Because you know a team is behind you that will back the risks that you take. They know it'll all be well, and they are working with you to get there.

Do I believe all will be well? Of course I do. That is my outlook on life. It will ALWAYS be well.
That said there is this poison in the well. There is something in the pit of my stomach that isn't sitting well. There are people that I don't believe have my back. There is change that I believe is still to come. There are many who are ok with being ok. Fine with doing work that is just fine. Unwilling to get out of THEIR comfort zone, when their comfort zone is mediocrity.

I don't believe in that. My comfort zone is risk. My comfort zone is extraordinary. My comfort zone is leadership. My comfort zone is positivity.

And I am being dragged mentally OUT of my comfort zone. Into a zone of fear, stress, negativity, ego, aggravation, unwillingness, insecurity. The environment that once for me was full of positive experiences, mentorship, and love has turned into a place where I am fearful that people do not have my back.

I've learned the difficult lesson as I become more senior in my career that this is something I'm going to have to deal with. I'm going to have to learn how to mentally separate myself from the masses. From their willingness to be stuck in their ways.
It is proving to be more challenging than I would've thought. I always believed I could pull myself away, but sometimes it takes hard work to do so.

That said, I believe in what I do. I believe in my abilities, I believe in this brain of mine.
I know that time will bring positive change.
I know that there are people out there looking out for me.
I need to keep moving forward, inspire myself, and continue this path I have laid out for myself.
Ignore the naysayers, and follow my bliss.

Silent Musings

Creativity is a funny thing.
It strikes when you least expect it, and when you really really need it, it may not be ready for you.
See I feel like a clear mind is the most inspired. When a mind is at rest it is able to see things in a much clearer way than it would otherwise.
It's very much aligned to the Yogi principles.
Understanding when and where you are inspired are just as important as being inspired.
This is what allows true creatives to be able to come up with ideas quicker and easier than others.
My "happy place" is by the water. I'm not sure what it is about the water, but there is an essential sense of calm that goes through my mind. The winter is not easy for me, much like the rest of the population. But I know even a weekend near the water is enough for me to break out of whatever funk my brain is in.
As a writer I know when the words are a-flowing. I know when the ideas are coming clear. When my brain is far too cluttered to even think straight, I know I need a weekend away from the clutter in order to think clear.
I think the key to knowing how to move forward is understanding yourself.
And those who can figure it out, are more likely to succeed than those who ignore it.
I decided a long time ago to live life for myself and part of that meant accepting all forms of who I am. The idea that I needed to be creatively stimulated used to come from long angry entries in my journal, my only way to express myself. Through that anger, through that pain, I found a voice. I learned that I couldn't ignore the crazy voices in my head, because those voices lead to some of the most inspired work I had ever done. Using my emotion in a way that was compelling, impactful, beautiful.
And from there creativity became my saviour. It allowed me to be one with myself in a way that others probably wouldn't understand.
It is a blessing, and sometimes it can feel like a curse. But it is an essential part of who I am.
So I embrace it, and I learn how to cultivate it in a way that creates definition to my character.
I can only hope it continues to be the words behind the building blocks of my future.

Writer

I used to be a writer.
A self proclaimed writer that is, whatever that means.
I wrote about a life I dreamed of. A life that only lived in my mind.
Through my childhood insecurities I built a figment of myself. This figment had all that I desired. She danced with the wolves, she played in the rain, she had no fear.
Through my writing I found an escape.
Though sometimes dark, and uncertain, if you looked deep between the lines there was a shimmer of hope.
Hope that the future would be similar to the dreams of which I wrote.

Years later here I sit and think about the days that I lived in my head.
Where one day I was a rock star on a European tour.
The other day I was a sailor, seeking adventures at sea.
Those days that I created a world so unreal that it shone like a bright light.
I remembered how I was a writer.

How I wrote about more than projects and briefs.
How the world in my head was vibrant and colourful.
It wasn't quantified, qualified, analyzed.
It was irregular, written and re-written, angry and somber, or excited and enlightened.
I was whoever I wanted to be. I lived wherever I wanted to live and my naivety made it all possible.
The stories I made into dreams, the figments that danced in my head,
Gave me the creative spirit to survive.

I still am a writer.
Sometimes more realistic. Sometimes more black and white.
I no longer write the great fairytale, the great love story, the great adventure.
I write what I see, I write what I feel, I write my story, my thesis, my terms.
The rainbow of colour has blended into a few pantones that stripe along the words that I paint.

Though I long to be a writer.
To once again live in my head of mystery, intrigue and passion.
To create a masterpiece, a manifesto, a manuscript.
Elicit the childish whimsy that I once used to exude
And take another minute, a moment, a second..
In my head to just be.